i prefer a sunless sky to the glittering and stinging in my eyes

when the dream dissolves, i open up my eyes and realize that everything is shoreless sea

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Cereal

I like cereal at night. And i dont like one kind alone, i always have to mix at least 2 kinds =D
Its 11:30pm and im eating fruity pebbles, and its yummy, and ummm.. i didnt have anything else to say in this post lol

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Friday, January 27, 2006

stwabewwyz

as-salaamu `alaykom
SubhanAllaah i was having a very good day today. Feeling nice and everything alhamdulillah.
And a few minutes ago, it just got a whole lot better !!
Mohammed got home from his friends, and i went to ask him if he wants tea or anything, and he gives me a rose and the box of strawberrys that he bought me, cuz he knew ive been wanting strawberrys!! Everytime we pass by the mexican who sells them on the corner, i say "oooo ya Allaah" and he never stops, so i was soOo excited finally that i got them ! lool YAAAY!
man mashaAllaah the sweetness, ive got this big smile on my face and i cant stop! lol its making my jaw hurt but i dont care lol Allaahu Akbar man!!!! woohoooo
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So right away
i washed one..

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And
i ate it..

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Im all smiles lol =D

The end =P

Monday, January 23, 2006

subhanAllaah

Ya Allaah..
Okay so my cousin called us tonight from SF to tell us that my uncle had a heart attack, well he had it on Thursday but he barely called us today. So he said my uncle had 5 bypasses and they took fluid from around his lungs, i dont really know what it all means, besides that bypass is major surgery and it sounds pretty bad. Hes in ICU now. Alhamdulillah aala kulee haal
Please make dua..

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

shes comin comin.. back back.. to cali cali

as-salaamu `alaykom..
Ranya is back !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Allaahu Akbar i am so happy right now, my cousin is finally back and i missed her soOo freakin much ! I had a dinner at my house last night to welcome her back, kind of last minute but like everyoneee was there, so it was a pretty busy night which is why i didnt get a chance to make a blog post. (i soo intended to), since Umm Qaylah says that i never update, well im trying to outdo her now with posts.
So yeh last night was great ~ i made maklubeh, lasagne, fatoosh, tabooleh, kufteh and baklaweh and knafeh for desert, (my aunt brought the mansef and besbooseh) Yes busy busy. I would have taken pics of the food, however; it is an unhappy fact that my digital camera battery was dead =(
Anyway at one point during the night me and ranya snuck outside so we can talk and be together cuz we both missed each other, and we got caught by my aunt who, we both knew, was about to go off on us for being rude, outside instead of inside with all the company. But theres this thing with my Aunt.. a long time ago when we were younger we used to ask her why she always wore black (cuz she alwaysssssssss wears black everythingggg) so at that time she told us she has everything black cuz someone once told her she looks sooo good in black loool, so now everytime we know shes gonnan be mad we say "but but you look soooo good in black mashaAllaah" and we are, 9 out of 10 times, off the hook. She just laughs.
About 30 people asked me how i got this small cut above my eye, and i just told them all "i hit my head" (derf) lol not wanting to go into full detail, i left it at that, and noone questioned further cuz everyone knows im a hebleh anyway right lol.
Anyway my hands are cold and i got things to do so... was-salaamu `alaykom

Friday, January 13, 2006

In neeed of... something

I need to make some changes
A lot of changes
Major changes
Ive been told that i need to become more optimistic, the way i used to be. And i think i agree.
People notice the big change in me, which occured shortly before ramadhaan, without knowing the reason behind it, only are they aware of the reason from shortly after ramadhaan, which only pushed me down farther.
Lately i had been feelng like im on a never-ending waterslide, going down, down, down, and just feeling weak and tired and defeated. What kind of attitude is this? lol this is so unlike me.. although im not really sure what IS like me these days, as ive sort of lost myself. After a long and rather meaningful conversation with someone they told me that i should sit down and write on a paper.. what i want in life, what i want for myself etc. At the time, i responded by saying that this isnt the kind of list i want to make (i usually stick to grocery lists with the ocassional pro/con list of something or other), and that id rather have someone else write it for me. Now i realize thats just ridiculous since thats the very thing im running from in the first place.. i dont want someone to plan my life for me (if they dont understand me).. im capable of doing it, and if i expect to stop being treated like a baby, maybe i should grow up, stop being a little girl and get out of this hole ive been in.
I always wanted to have someone who did understand me, so i would have someone to plan my life, speak for me, tell me what to do (its so much simpler than having to figure everything out alone) and just.. understand me. But now that i know this is not the reality of my life, i need to get over it. Its not going to happen. I will accept it now.
Im a very weird person, sometimes im nto even sure about myself lol
Ive been feeling much more up than down lately, past couple days. Which is an absolutely unexpected but welcomed change ! Alhamdulillaah !
Maybe im finally starting to recover from things that have happened. And although i dont expect to stop having the hard days in which im just depressed, but i think this may be the start of a better me, inshaAllaah. Like my precious Karimeh has in her display name.. "its a long road, when you face the world alone" butt how can i forget? He Who Has No One Has Allaah.
I want to find myself, cuz like everyone else.. im starting to miss me. =)
Anyway ill stop babbling on and on now lol, ill post later inshaAllaah when i get some time online. InshaAllaah i get some time online, cuz im reallyyyy in need of being around some deenin' people right now !!!!! lol Meyeh i miss you, yaaa Allaaah!

I was going to comment here about people who are not honest with me, but ive decided that its not worth it =) im over it.. its whatever.

may Allaah forgive us all and make us better worshippers of Him, Aameen.

Monday, January 02, 2006

T.G.I.. Monday?

as-salaamu `alaykom
I had such a stupid and crazy day. So i chilled all day with my aunt (not going to get into that), then at evening lena wanted me to go with her out to eat, i didnt want to but my uncle told me i had to. lol
So, Lena, Ghada, Balqis, Jessenia, and I went to eat.. Where did they choose?




Yeh.. TGI Friday's. lol wack, and they were very embarassing as well, to make the whole thing worse, they thought it would be funny to have the people sing Happy Birthday to me and give me ice cream.
`audhu bellah, i thought i was going to faint. (no, its not my birthday anyway)
Then they decided to order almost every appetizer on the menu, yes yes, all very funny. ;|

Anyway, i ended up ordering Cajun chicken and shrimp pasta, without the chicken. Even though i was not hungry, i think ive learned my lesson about not eating though. inshaALlaah
And of course..

My big glass of ice water. And the crayons and kids menu to color on, that i requested.

After we left, they wanted to go hang out somewhere else, that i refused to go, so they took me to the park to drop me off.. we all got out at the park and see my brother and his friends there, chillen in the rain. (?)
So Omar says to us "what do you get when you cross 3 palestinians, an omani and a leb?"
Lena says "i dont know.. what?"
and Omar says "i dont know either but take Yasmeena home now"
(to which everyone cracked up, except me)
Yes, more entertainment.
Anyway, I then got dropped off at home, sat outside for awhile, to enjoy the quiet and fresh air. Came in the house, took a shower etc, and now here i am posting on this blog. I know my days arent filled with much exceitement but.. noone is forcing you to read this..
was-salaamu`alaykom

Sunday, January 01, 2006

My Day

Okay so the day was pretty boring. In the morning i cleaned my uncles house, then mine. Afternoon came online. Then my sister Lena had people over and forced me to sit with them, alhamdulillah it was only girls but.. not anyone i realy wanted to hang out with. So yeh we did henna, and talked, and other stuff. lol wasnt as bad as i thought it would be alhamdulillah.
Right now i am going to take a walk to the park. Its really cold but i really need the air. Taking walks to the park at night and sitting on the swings to look at the sky, is my new thing.
Im worried about my sister lena, i been trying to sit with her a lot because shes going crazy. ever since my mom passed shes been reallyyy acting out.. and im not really sure how to get through to her. When i talk to her about deen, she thinks im being corny and stuff, allaahul musta3an, i dont know what to say to her.
Okay, lol ive been sitting in a paltalk room and didnt type here for like 30 minutes!!! lol so yeh i guess ill just wrap it up here and finish later. was-salaamu `alaykom

2006

Okay, so around midnight, i got about 6 txt msgs on my celly saying "Happy New Year!" I responded by saying "i dont give a shit about new years", except to one txt, from Naeemah who hasnt answered my txt or calls in weeks, and i was quite worried. Anyway not much of a conversation there, dont know whats up with her lately, inshaAllaah shes okay..
If you read this.. Contact me!!! kthnx.. =/
Anyway, its really 2006, subhanAllaah time flies!! I am getting so old lol


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